Sodden Soliloquies

rattyburville:

merrymrdarcy:

so i called the nearby starbucks to see if they were open because my dad wasn’t sure and wanted me to ask so i asked them in gollum’s voice “HELLO IS PRECIOUS OPEN TODAY?”

and the guy on the other line replied with “YES PRECIOUS IS OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSS”

I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT AND I WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING

AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER LINE ASKED “IS PRECIOUS OKAY”

I HOPE YOU MARRIED HIM

(Source: harryjasperkennedy, via br0zi)

livingthegaydream:

leftists:

paradisaic:

osm-rhodey:

paradisaic:

our teacher told us to put our phones away so i took a picture of him

Just put the damn phone away. Classes only take up a part of the day.

i graduated as the sole valedictorian of my class and got a full-ride to my school of choice thanks for the tips but i’m good

Didnt take much for you to drop that tbh

congrats on trying to sounds smart, but there is only ever one or “sole” valedictorian of any class.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen multiple valedictorians for the same class. They were tied.

livingthegaydream:

leftists:

paradisaic:

osm-rhodey:

paradisaic:

our teacher told us to put our phones away so i took a picture of him

Just put the damn phone away. Classes only take up a part of the day.

i graduated as the sole valedictorian of my class and got a full-ride to my school of choice thanks for the tips but i’m good

Didnt take much for you to drop that tbh

congrats on trying to sounds smart, but there is only ever one or “sole” valedictorian of any class.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen multiple valedictorians for the same class. They were tied.

I will never understand people who post their personal business online, but get mad when people talk about it and say to mind your own business…you just told everyone your business like you want them to be intrigued and then got mad when they were intrigued. You can’t be an attention whore, but then get pissed off when you receive the attention.

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

(via livingthegaydream)